


The Tigress

by CyclonicJet



Category: The Poppy War - R. F. Kuang
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 05:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyclonicJet/pseuds/CyclonicJet
Summary: Let's explore an alternative world. Where Venka chose a different path. Where she forsakes the bow in favor of something far greater. Power. Real power. Let's watch her walk the path of a shaman.
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this with a kind of reckless abandon. It was a cathartic cooldown from another project I was working on that fell to pieces around me. As such, I had a blast writing this. Whether it's any good or not? Who knows. But I had fun, and that's what matters.

Venka loosed her arrow and watched with barely contained fury as it soared five feet clear over the target. A small splash followed as it found a home in the river. She gritted her teeth and quickly strung another one up. She fired again. This shot was better. She missed by only maybe about four feet this time.

She hissed frustratedly, dumping the bow at her feet. “Stupid fucking…” she rasped, her arms twinging painfully. They were goodman traitors, constantly throwing off her aim. Every bit as stiff as a stallion in heat. A long stream of muttered curses tumbled out of her. What good was she now? What use was a girl with arms this fucked up? She’d never be able to fight with a sword again. Her enemies would probably laugh themselves to death before she could get close to cutting them down.

She couldn’t use a bow. Her arms were too fucked up for that! What good was an archer who couldn’t hit shit? The best she would be able to do would be to turn the ground around her enemies into a dusty pincushion. Then they’d still probably laugh themselves to death.

“Fucking Crickets!” she spat, vivid vision of Golyn Niis swimming to the forefront of her mind. “I hope it fucking hurt when Rin drowned you all in lava! I hope you all suffered!”

The mere mention of Rin’s name brought a much more recent crushing pain down upon her. “Fucking Nezha.” She hucked a globule of spit into the dirt. “Treating me like the priceless family dinnerware. Like I’m nothing but some sort of broken piece of porcelain. Like I can’t still fight!”

She snatched the bow back up, strung a swift arrow, and fired. As soon as she released though, her arm spasmed, throwing off the shot and sending the arrow hurtling into the mud. Venka screamed. “What fucking use am I now!?”

She tossed the bow away and slumped down to her knees. “What sort of bullshit world is this!?” she yelled, slamming her palms into the dirt. “I can’t fight! I can’t kill! I can’t even hold a fucking bow straight!”

She tossed her head to the sky. “Why couldn’t you just kill me!?” she screeched at it. “You killed everyone else! Why leave me!”

No answer came. No answer ever came. The gods remained silent. Venka searched that blue abyss above, searching for a sign. Anything.

“You’ll answer Fang fucking Runin!” she roared, her voice going hoarse with the strain. “You can answer me too!”

The sky remained unchanged. The gods remained silent.

“You give her the power to keep fighting!” she croaked, tears forming in the wells of her eyes. “She doesn’t even need a weapon to fight! She can-“

She sputtered to a halt. Rin didn’t need a weapon to fight. She had the power to incinerate her enemies with a flick of her wrist. Why...why couldn’t she have that power as well? 

Venka’s head spun. A whole new host of possibilities assailing her. It wouldn’t matter if she could shoot a bow straight, hold a sword upright, or even punch hard. Not if she possessed the power of a god on her side.

Rin had done it. She had bonded a god. And if she could do it, then Sring Venka certainly could too.

A harsh bark of laughter erupted out of her. That was the solution. It had been so obvious. How had she missed it?

She lurched to her feet, her legs uncertain beneath her. Now she had to answer the real question. How in the name of the great tortoise did she do it? How did she reach the gods?


	2. Chapter 2

She got high. That was how Rin did it. A few poppy seeds in the mouth and bam. Off to the pantheon. Or at least that was the theory anyway.

Venka had never done drugs before. Even in those darkest days after Golyn Niis, she had resisted the temptation. Alcohol had sufficiently filled that niche at the time.

Now though, now she needed them. If she was ever going to fight again, then she’d need to suck it up and swallow them.

She had no idea what she had expected to happen. She had thought maybe she might float off into the sky, or a manifestation of the divine would appear before her. Instead, she drooled into her pillow for twenty minutes, laughed stupidly at nothing, and then promptly blacked out.

When she woke back up she had a splitting headache and the powerful urge to vomit. So she did. Right on top of herself. She fell back into her pillow and groaned. “Well that didn’t work.” she groused. How the fuck did Rin do it? What was she doing differently from her?

Was there some sort of ritual she was supposed to do first? Or some kind of prayer? Venka didn’t have the first clue. And there was only one person in the world who could tell her how. “Get back here soon Rin.” she muttered, resisting another wave of nausea. “I need you...I need you to show me the way.”

* * *

Days rolled into weeks, and still, no sign of the fleet appeared on the horizon. Occasional dispatches returned downriver, but none that she was ever privy to. Vaisra published nothing, keeping everything between him and his war council. Leaving Venka totally in the dark. How was the war going? How were her friends doing? It was maddening not knowing.

So she tried to fill her days as productively as she could to keep her mind off it. Which usually meant alternating between long study sessions in the Arlong palace library, trying to gather every scrap of information she could on the pantheon and its many gods, and get absolute shit-faced high.

Her first thought was that maybe she’d taken too many seeds. She tried cutting one up and ingesting just a sliver of it. But that only resulted in a mild buzz. No better than being drunk. 

So she had tried a whole handful instead. Venka was pretty sure she should have died that night. She had spent three in a fugue state afterward. Wandering aimlessly around her house. Her parents had thought it was just another one of her episodes. They’d seen them before. The first few weeks back in Arlong had been hard.

When it became apparent that the seeds were getting her nowhere, Venka switched tactics. She tried meditating instead. Rin had said that’s what she had done when learning to reach the gods. So Venka sat for hours in her room. Perched at the end of her bed, doing nothing. All it did was make her even more annoyed. She wasn’t  _ doing  _ anything. She was just sitting with her eyes closed. How was that supposed to help her?

She tried reading on proper technique, and what the exercise was supposed to achieve. But that just made her frustrated at the ridiculous, and often non-sensical, answers the books spat back at her.

Her life became consumed with trying to find a way to reach the gods. And she grew increasingly annoyed with her own failure to do so. Where the  _ fuck  _ was Rin!? She needed her! How long did it take to conquer one  _ fucking  _ empire?

As it turned out, apparently not all that much longer. Venka awoke after one particularly late night studying, a splitting headache beating against her skull. Why were people being so loud outside today? What could possibly be so- 

She stared out her window, and her heart skipped a beat. There were ships back in the bay. The fleet had returned!


	3. Chapter 3

“Dead!?” she exclaimed disbelievingly.

“Nice to see you too.” Nehza muttered.

“Rin and Kitay are dead!?” she repeated.

Nehza looked away. “Yes...we lost them in the battle at Lake Boyang.” he said quietly. “It was madness Venka. Daji was ready for us. She brought a Shaman with her. Tore our fleet apart.”

Venka barely heard him. Dead. She had never even considered the possibility that they might…

“They’re not dead.” Venka said.

"Venka…” Nehza said, putting his hand against her arm. She knocked it back off.

“Rin doesn’t die that easily.” she snapped. “She doesn’t get to. And if Kitay is with her, then I’m damn sure he’s alive too.”

“I know it’s hard to accept. Trust me I spent most of the voyage back trying to come to terms with it myself. But-“

“But nothing Nezha! I know they’re fucking alive! So stop trying to convince me otherwise!”

Nehza lifted a hand towards her shoulder, hesitated, and then let it fall back down. “You’re right.” he conceded. “I’m sure they’re fine. They’ll be back here in no time.”

He had said all that without a hint of condescension in his voice, which only pissed her off further. She didn’t need his false platitudes or disingenuous sympathy. He thought her crazy for daring to cling to something he considered nothing but a foolhardy hope. Well fuck him. Venka knew they were alive. Fang Runin wasn’t the kind of bitch to die to something as mundane as drowning. She’d be back. She always came back.


	4. Chapter 4

Venka was, naturally of course, proven right. Rin and Kitty were alive. Venka had expected nothing less of them.

A burning desire urged her to go to Rin immediately and ask for her help. But she knew better than to be so forward. Rin needed time to rest and recuperate first. So Venka waited. Her soul itching to just approach her already. But she resisted. Waiting a whole week before finally mustering the nerve to seek her out.

She found her in the barracks, huddled up with the Cike. Talking about...whatever it was the Cike talked about. As she entered the room, a sudden nervous energy began to prick at her. Is this…is this what she really wanted?

She thought it was. She had gotten smashed on poppy seeds repeatedly she was so sure of it. But looking at the Cike now, she was no longer so certain. None of them _exactly_ had it all together. Rin was probably the most _together_ of all of them, which was a stunningly low bar indeed.

 _‘No.’_ she thought firmly. _‘It’s this or spend the rest of your life having people pity or revile you. You endured Golyn Niis. You can sure as fuck can do this.’_

She swallowed the nervous clump forming in her throat, and approached the group.

The little one looked up at her first. She didn’t know his name. “Miss Venka.” he said cheerily. “Hello! How can we of the Cike help you today?”

The others looked up at her with curious expressions. Venka met Rin’s own interested eye. “I ugh. I need to speak to Rin.”

' _Just be calm Venka. Just be calm.’_

Rin raised an eyebrow. “Ugh. Sure, Venka. What do you need?”

“It’s a ugh...private matter.”

That drew her attention. She stood up from the group and smirked. “Private eh? This promises to be interesting.” They left the barracks together

“So.” Rin began. “What the-“

Venka hushed her and looked around nervously. “Not here. I know a place where we can talk without being overheard.”

Rin opened her mouth to reply, then clamped it shut and nodded. She’d oblige Venka’s need for privacy.

She wound them away from the barracks and into a quieter commercial district of Arlong. With the refugee crisis worsening it was growing increasingly difficult to find a quiet spot in the city. But Venka had grown up here. She knew where she needed to go when she wanted some peace. 

They passed down a side street, down a pair of stairs, and emerged out onto a secluded section of canals. Bright yellow sand appeared beneath their feet as they stepped out onto the shore. There was no one else around. It was just the two of them.

They came to a stop and looked at each other, an awkward silence ensuing.

“I umm…” Venka said. Why was this so hard to say? She had rehearsed this so many times in her head.

Rin eyed her. “Yes?“

“Rin. I need your…” She clenched her fist. “What I mean to say is…”

"Venka. We’re getting nowhere real fast here-“

“Make me like you!” she blurted out.

Rin blinked. “What?”

“I want to be like you!” Venka repeated, all her hesitations gone. “Help me reach the pantheon! Help me find a god! Make me a shaman!”

Rin stared at her. For once, the mighty Fang Runin was speechless. “Venka. I…”

“Please Rin. I need this! I’m-“ Her arms twinged painfully. She wrapped her hands over them, trying to massage the ache away.

“Rin, I can’t fight anymore.” she seethed. “I can’t do _anything_ anymore! Ever since Golyn Niis...no one treats me the same. I’m either reviled as a whore, or treated like a cracked vase one has to be careful around. But you Rin. You’re the only one who sees past that. You’re the only one who still respects me.”

Rin hesitated a moment, trying to figure out how to react, before placing a hand on her shoulder. “I do respect you Venka. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. And that’s why I can’t let you do this.”

An icy fist wrapped around Venka’s heart. “Let me?” she asked. “I wasn’t asking permission, Rin.”

Rin squeezed her shoulder. “Venka. If you only knew the price, you might not be so-“

“Don’t try to coddle me Rin!” she snapped, smacking her hand away. “I’m perfectly aware of the cost! I’ve seen what it’s done to the Cike! I’ve seen what it’s done to _you_! And I’m ready to accept that toll as well!”

Rin took a step towards her, pushing up into her face, her expression all business. “Finding the gods is not a decision one makes lightly Venka. Have you thought about this? The consequences? What your family might-”

“This isn’t their decision.” Venka barked angrily “It’s mine! I’m not a child seeking her parents' permission, Rin. I’m a warrior looking for a way she can fight again.”

“And what about the Hesperians?” Rin said darkly. “They’ll never let you-“

“I don’t give a shit about the fucking Hesperians! Rin,” She was pleading now, “please. I need this.”

Rin still looked unconvinced. “Venka, there are things you can do other than just fight. You have more to offer than just your ability to kill-“

“What!? You mean like you!? What did you go to Sinegard for if not to learn how to fight, Rin!? If not how to learn how to kill!?”

A flush of red bled into Rin’s cheeks. “Why did I go to Sinegard? Why do you think!? Because I had ambitions greater then spending the rest of my life in Tikany as some fucking nobody’s wife! To be more than the mother to some mewling pack of brats!”

“And look at you now!” Venka exclaimed. “You’re the most famous person in Nikara! You single handedly destroyed an entire country! You’re the _fucking_ Speerly! The symbol of the entire republic!”

Venka clenched her fists. “And what am I? Nothing. The whore of Golyn Niis. A soldier who can no longer fight. No one cares who I am. Do you know I can count on one hand the number of people who even give a shit that I’m alive Rin.”

She jabbed her in the chest. “So don’t tell me I have value other than being what I am. I went to Sinegard so I could fight. So I could take control of my own name. So people would remember the name Sring Venka! Remember it as something more than a mere footnote in the life of some noble husband!”

Her hand dropped. “But now? Now I’ll be lucky if even one person remembers me at all. A hundred years from now people will still speak the name Fang Runin. People not yet even born will talk about you. But Sring Venka? The _living_ have already forgotten her.”

She could feel tears welling in her eyes. She beat them back with sheer force of will.

The fury in Rin’s face was gone. Replaced by...something else. Respect?

“You’re committed to this then?”

“Yes.”

“Words are wind, Venka. I need to see proof. I need you to show me what you're really willing to sacrifice to reach the gods?”

A pang of fear struck her. Venka beat it down too. She had come this far. She could go a little further.

“How?”

Rin offered her the knife from her own belt. “Stab yourself.”

Venka stared dumbly down at the piece of serrated steel. “I’m sorry?”

“Stab yourself.” she repeated. “If you can’t handle a simple pain like a knife wound you’ll never endure the pantheon. They’ll rip you apart.”

Venka continued staring at the blade. _‘Just a little further Venka._ ’ she thought, memories of Golyn Niis surfacing again, and others beside. Memories of herself kneeling inside a small glade, the corpses of those that never were surrounding her, and a bundle of rags clutched tight against her chest. Venka pressed her eyes closed. Fighting off the screams that would never be silent.

 _‘Just keep going a little further.’_ she thought.

She grabbed the knife, and plunged it into her leg. Her body felt the agonizing bite of steel. Her mind didn’t even register it. Venka kept her attention focused solely on Rin. Watching for her reaction.

A moment passed between them. Then Rin reached down, wrapped her hand over Venka’s, and together they yanked the knife out. She dropped it into the sand, and then did the single most non-Rin thing Venka could conceive of. Rin hugged her.

“You want to be remembered Sring Venka?” she whispered. “I’ll remember you. And together we’ll make sure the whole world remembers you too.” Venka stood stupefied for a moment, then hugged her back.

“Thank you, Rin.” she breathed, no longer able to keep the tears from stinging her face.

Rin squeezed her tighter, and then laughed. “Kitay is going to want to kill me for this. But you want to see the pantheon this badly? Then I’ll take you to them.” She pulled back just enough to stare her square in the face. “We’re going to make you a shaman.” Rin grinned. “Welcome to the Cike, Venka.”


	5. Chapter 5

“No.” Kitay said simply. “It was bad enough that you dragged me into this, Rin. The last thing you need to do is bring down Venka with us-“

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” Rin snapped. She loved Kitay, more than anything else in the world. But by the phoenix he could be narrow minded sometimes. 

“I don’t need you to ask. I’m giving it to you anyway.” he answered. “This is a terrible idea! Venka doesn’t-“

“Venka knows exactly what she's asking for. She wants to be able to fight again. She wants to be more than a broken ornament.”

“That’s not-” he seethed. “What did you say to her!? This can’t have just come out of nowhere!”

“Firstly. Nothing. And secondly, it’s coming from her. Venka wants this. She wants to be able to fight again, Kitay! To be useful! I can help her do that!”

“And what does that make me?” he asked. “I don’t fight. Am I useless?”

“That’s not fair! You choose  _ not  _ to fight. Venka doesn’t have that choice.”

“There are a thousand other things she could do to help! She could-“

"What?” Rin challenged. “Sew uniforms? Help build ships? What Kitay!?”

“She could help with the healers!” he snapped, desperately searching for an answer.

“Venka’s hands weren’t made for healing.” Rin splayed her palm out for Kitay to see. “She would have chosen the field at Sinegard otherwise. No. Her hands are like mine. They were meant for battle.”

“But they don’t have to be!” he insisted. “Rin, please. There has to be another-“

“Can you fix her arms?” Rin asked. “Can you give her back what those damned Crickets stole from her!?”

“That’s not fair, Rin.” he says defensively. “And you know it.”

“And neither is what happened to Venka.” she replied coldly. “Neither is life. But we make do with what we’ve got. If I can help her reclaim some of what was taken from her, then tigers tits I’m going to try and help her do so. She deserves that much from us. That’s what friends do for each other.”

“This isn’t friendship, Rin. This is insanity! After everything you’ve been through, you really want to put someone else through it as well!?”

“I’m not seeking your approval.” Rin said. “And neither is Venka. But I wasn’t about to keep this hidden from you. All I need you to do is accept it, and move on.”

"You know I can’t do that.”

Rin sighed. He was right. She did know that. He would never let this go. Never accept it as the necessity it was. He couldn’t see just how much Venka needed this.

“Are you going to sell us out?” she asked. “Go and squeal to Vaisra? Or Nehza?”

He glowered at her. “You know I won’t do that either. But if they find out...if the Hesperian’s find out…” He shook his head. “All I can do is beg you not to do this, Rin.”

She met his eye. “And you already know that begging is pointless. You know that I have to do this.”

“I know that you  _ think _ you have to do this. There’s always a choice Rin. You already made the wrong one. Don’t let Venka make the same mistake.”

Rin sniffed. “That’s what you still don’t understand, Kitay. This?” She lit the ends of her fingers on fire. “This was never a mistake. I wanted this. I  _ claimed _ this. And were I given a chance to start all over? Go back to those first days at Sinegard? I’d do it all over again. Without a single hesitation.”

Kitay’s expression darkened. “Really? Not one thing different?” 

An uncomfortable energy pervaded the room as they stared each other down. 

“No.”

“Then I guess there’s nothing more to say.” he muttered in a low voice. Rin knew that voice. It was the same one he’d treated her to after the destruction of Mugen, when he had even deigned to speak to her at all. It hurt, but she didn’t worry about it. If he’d found a way to forgive her for that, he’d find a way to do so for this.

“I guess there isn’t.” she said. She picked up her travel bag. “If anyone comes looking for us, tell them you don’t know where we are. I don’t know how long this will take, and I don’t want anyone trying to follow us.”

“Daji is still coming, Rin.” Kitay said warningly. “And if you’re not here when she arrives-“

“I’ll be back before she gets here.” Rin said, a wide grin forming on her face. “And we’ll have a little surprise of our own this time.”


	6. Chapter 6

Avoiding the influx of refugees now engulfing Arlong had been a nightmare. It had taken them most of a day wandering downriver to find an area secluded enough to begin. Rin wanted no distractions. If this was going to work, then she couldn’t afford any interruptions. Or attempts to stop them.

Rin palmed a fistful of poppy seeds, holding them in front of her for Venka’s inspection. She wasn’t sure how she was going to get Venka to reach the pantheon. It had taken her a year of hard study, followed by weeks of sitting drugged out over her mind in a cave on top of a mountain. An experience that had both nearly killed her, and allowed her to reach the gods. They didn’t have anywhere near that kind of time luxury this time around. 

If Venka was going to reach the pantheon, then it was going to have be through a crash course exercise. Now all Rin needed to do was figure out what that meant.

“This,” she began, “is your gateway to the gods.”

Venka stared at the seeds. “How?”

“By helping you let go of your body. We as people crave to keep holding on to it. To not release our earthly attachments. This is the single biggest hurdle in trying to reach the pantheon. The inability to let go of the material.” 

' _Tigers tits...I sound like Jiang.’_

“Getting high is an easy way of getting your mind to let go. To stop perceiving things as-

“I know.” Venka said. “I’ve tried already. It didn’t help.”

Rin blinked. “You’ve...tried already? When?”

“While you, Kitay, and Nehza were off playing soldier.”

Rin put the seeds back down, her gaze intense. “Tell me exactly what you did. Skip no details.”

“I got high.” Venka shrugged. “Swallowed them the way you did. I actually got pretty blitzed off them, but never saw any gods manifesting before me. Even learnt how to meditate too. Nothing.”

Rin furrowed her brow. Venka really was serious about this. And if the knife hadn’t been proof enough, this was. Venka was committed to this. Which was good. Because nothing less than total commitment would suffice.

“Well last time you didn’t have me.” Rin stated. “And there’s much more to it than just getting high and meditating. Because the first thing you need to do is let go of all your preconceptions of both the nature of the world, and of reality itself…”

* * *

Days passed. Hours spent wasted on poppy seeds and trying to get Venka to visualize the pantheon. To get her to just let go. But like Rin herself had been, she was resistant. The world made sense the way she knew it. Her mind wanting to reject any notion that it might be otherwise. But if this was ever going to work, Rin needed to force the idea into her head.

But it would seem that today was yet again another failure. Venka grunted, breaking out of the extended mediation session, and punching an agitated fist into the dirt. “It’s no good, Rin!” she barked angrily. “No matter how I try I just don’t see it!”

“You just have to keep trying.” Rin said. She didn’t know what else to do. She had tried to explain it to Venka in every possible way she could imagine, but it had done little to remove the mental block afflicting her.

“I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong!” Venka seethed. “Why is this so easy for you? What am I not understanding?”

“That the world is an illusion. That’s nothing is-“

“Yes!” Venka snapped. “You’ve said! I’ve tried! It isn’t working!”

“Well I don’t know what else to tell you Venka!” She could feel herself getting annoyed now too. “That’s what it is! A change of perception! You need to start thinking differently!”

“I. Have. Tried!” she yelled. “It’s still all just rocks and dirt to me! I don’t see any grand divine creatures behind it all!”

“Do you want to be a shaman or not!?”

“Of course I do! That’s why we’re fucking out here in the first place!”

“Then fucking act like it! The gods aren’t going to coddle you into their arms! You have to fucking earn it, Venka!”

“By doing what!? Sitting around getting high as shit all day!? Is that all this!? A bunch of nonsensical bullshit!?”

Rin reached for the flame. “Do you think this is bullshit!?” she exclaimed. Nothing happened. Venka continued to stare daggers at her as Rin strained to find the Phoenix. It wouldn’t come. What was wrong? Why wasn’t it-

Kitay. Her connection bled through Kitay. And Kitay wasn’t here. She was out of range of him. She couldn’t call the fire.

“I don’t know what point you were trying to make.” Venka said coldly. “But consider it a failure!”

She turned and stalked off into the trees. Rin collapsed back to her ass. She didn’t even remember standing up. Anger, grief, and frustration swilled about inside her. Her feelings about Venka mixing with her anguish at having been so thoroughly separated from her god.

Finally, she could contain it no longer, tilting her head back and screaming at the clear blue sky.

* * *

It was dark by the time Venka returned. Rin had long since settled herself down on her sleeping mat, her eyes fixed upon the sky. Not even shifting when Venka thudded onto the ground beside her.

Neither talked, both of them just staring up at the heavens. What was there to say? They had failed. Rin didn’t know how-

“How did you reach them?” Venka muttered.

Rin paused mid-thought, chewing on an answer to that. “I sat in a cave for three weeks.”

A pause. “Come again?” Venka asked.

“I got high and nearly died in a cave. That’s how I reached the pantheon.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

Another pause. “Huh.”

They went back to silence. But now something niggled at the back of Rin’s mind. Something about what she had just said...

 _'The cave...that...it wasn’t…’_ She furrowed her brow, stretching for an idea dancing at the edge of her mind. What was it?

‘ _The first time I touched the gods...when I first called the Phoenix...it wasn’t in the cave...it was in the ring...the end of that first year at Sinegard...it was during that fight Nehza…’_

The thought stewed about her head. What was so significant abo-

It struck her like a bolt of lightning. _Of course!_

She bolted upright, Venka scrambling after her, eyes alert for whatever unseen danger had spooked her. 

“Why didn’t I think of it before!” she half exclaimed, half laughed to herself.

“Think of what?” Venka asked, shooting her a queer look.

“How to reach the pantheon! I know what you need to do!”

Venka eyed her wearily. “That being?”

“You need to relive the pain!” she exclaimed. “You need to really _feel_ it! It’s the source of your determination to become a shaman after all!”

“And what does that mean exactly?”

“It means the only way for you to reach the gods is for you to go back. You need to do more than just seek them, you need to _call_ them! You need them to respond to your suffering!”

“Go back where? Rin you aren’t making any-“

“Golyn Niis. You need to remember Golyn Niis.”

Venka gaped at her. “I- Rin- You-“ She fumbled for words. “No.” she finally declared flatly.

“Venka, listen to me. You need to endure the-“

“No.” she repeated, equally monotone. “Rin, the whole point of this is so I can put that nightmare behind me.”

“And you won’t ever get past it unless you embrace the wound it’s left on your soul!”

“Rin. You don’t understand what your aski-“

“You stabbed yourself in the leg without a single hesitation, Venka.” Rin exclaimed. “But that was easy compared to what you need to do now. You need you to drag a knife through your memory. Through your very soul. Twist it in good and suffer the torment. Let that agony be the force that opens you up to the pantheon.”

Venka stared at her. A blazing rage in her eyes powerful enough to match Rin’s own. “I will _not_ go back there.”

Rin met her ferocity with her own. “Do you want to be a shaman?” she asked flatly.

There was a pause. “Yes.”

“Do you want to be able to fight again?”

Venka rotated her arms ever so slightly, a twinge of pain pulling her lip back. “Yes.” she said, her voice slightly more subdued.

“Then you’ll do this.” Rin said, her tone clearly conveying that the argument was over. “No shaman ever reached the gods easily, Venka. If you want this power, you must earn it. You must suffer for it. You must go back to Golyn Niis.”

Venka stared down at the ground, her expression inscrutable. A full minute passed, and then her lips moved.

“Just keep going a little further.” she whispered in a voice so light Rin almost missed it.

Venka squared her shoulders. “Golyn Niis?” she asked. “Fine. I’ll go back to _fucking_ Golyn Niis.” She reached into the travel bag, and came out with a handful of poppy seeds. “But I am _not_ doing so sober.”


	7. Chapter 7

Venka swallowed the seeds, assumed her mediation position, and then waited for that warm sensation to wash over her. That intoxicating high that made everything else seem so insignificant.

“Picture it.” Rin commanded. “Remember it.”

Venka pressed her eyes shut and began tapping against the barrier she had erected around those memories. She had been unable to stop them leaking out, always seeping into her mind when she was at her lowest moments. But she had contained them. No longer did they haunt her every waking moment. Following her every hour of every day. She had liberated herself from that waking nightmare.

Now though she had to tear that barrier down and unleash it. Venka needed to drown in those memories.

The casing surrounding them was solid, but as the seeds began taking effect, she could feel it starting to warp at her touch. The barrier becoming thin and malleable. Something she could breach.

So, gritting her teeth, she did. She slammed her consciousness against it, cracking open the protective shell, and submerging herself back into the unearthly hell that had been Golyn Niis.

* * *

Screaming. The crackle of burning wood. The scent of charred flesh. The barking of monstrous dogs. It swirled back around her. Engulfing her. 

And underneath those sounds of torment and misery followed an infinitely more evil sound. One Venka had never wanted to hear again. Cruel, blood curdling, laughter. 

The Mugenese were laughing as they slaughtered the city. Soldiers who lacked even the barest trace of a soul. Creatures left devoid of any trace of humanity. And one if them was looking at her now. The soulless husk of a creature staring at her with hungry, lustful eyes.

He came at her, pushing into the confines of the bedroom. Venka snarled and kicked him away. She would not be as easy prey as the others. She was a warrior. She would die fighting. Not with some filthy foreign cock inside her.

The man just laughed at her, muttering something in Mugenese, before renewing his advance. Venka scrambled back. She had lost her sword in the brawling outside, but she still had her fists. That’s all she’d need.

The creature jumped at her. Venka deflected it, sending it flying off into the wall behind them. It cursed violently and rounded on her again. She delivered a solid kick into its stomach, sending it reeling back again. Clearly martial arts had not been part of the Mugense training regime.

 _‘Finish him quickly.’_ she thought. _‘This is no sparring match. Go for the kill!’_

Before it could recover Venka dove on top of it, wrapping her legs around its head before it could fight back, crushing its windpipe between her thighs.

“You wanted to get between my legs so badly!?” she snarled. “I hope it’s everything you imagined!”

The creature scraped its fingernails into the floor, leaving long blood soaked gouges in the wood. It gasped for air as its face slowly turned blue. Venka prepared to end it, twisting her thighs to snap its neck.

A hand crashed into the small of her back, and her body ragdolled. Every limb going limp. The creature escaped her vice, sucking down a harsh lungful of air.

“Can’t even handle one little girl?” another monster laughed above her. “Need some assistance handling her?”

Venka sent commands down to her body. Fight! Attack! It did not respond. The soldiers' strike had stunned her completely.

The one she had nearly choked to death glowered at both of them. It stood back up and grabbed her roughly around the front of her robes, pushing the other soldier out of the way, and dragged her towards the bed.

That gave her all the motivation she needed. Venka _forced_ her muscles to move. Which ended up as little more then some mild thrashing. That was all she could get them to do.

It heaved her onto the bed, and instantly began tearing at her disheveled uniform. Shredding it apart to reach her. A screech of fury escaped her as levied her very soul against her still barely flailing limbs.

 _‘DO SOMETHING!’_ she thought desperately.

Her arms responded, allowing her to move them again. She went straight for its head. Scratching at its face. Clawing at its eyes.

They would _not_ take her! She was Sring Venka! Not some fucking whore to be conquer-

He slapped her. A blow so hard it knocked her head sideways, leaving her dazed, bright flashing lights blooming in her eyes. But still she resisted, thrusting her hands against its face.

It grabbed her wrist, pinning down her left hand. But that still left her right hand free. 

Venka balled it into a fist, and swiftly jammed it into its face. She felt a satisfying crunch as it connected. Venka took a moment of grim sense of satisfaction at that. And then it punched her back, square in the stomach.

Venka gasped as air was wrenched from her lungs, leaving her a gasping mess as the filthy creature renewed its assault on her uniform.

' _No.’_ she begged, squeezing her eyes shut. _‘Not like this. Anything but this!’_

“Someone help me!” she screamed, tears running unashamedly down her face. “Someone! Anyone-“

A hand clamped over her mouth. She squirmed to free herself, but its grip was iron.

_‘Please...someone…’_

* * *

A terrible crash of thunder blasted her ears. Venka screamed as the memory evaporated around her, thrusting her out into darkness.

For a moment she floated through nothingness. Then the ground rematerialized beneath her. Back in Golyn Niis. 

Venka looked around, to find only ash and death. She was back in the streets. With only the mountains of corpses and the silence to accompany her.

Venka stumbled to her feet, trying to get her bearings. Was this still her memory? Was this-

A flash of white streaked past her. Venka spun about, trying to see what it was, but it had already vanished around the corner. Not exactly sure what or why she was doing it, Venka gave chase. A strange impulse compelling her to follow it.

Venka pelted into the next street, only to find it exactly the same as the last one. Death and ruin everywhere. Had she just imagine-

The sound of bones snapping sent every hair on her body skyward. It had come from behind one especially grotesque pile of corpses. Venka stared at it. Maybe it had just been a stray dog. Or perhaps it had-

A head appeared over the emaciated bodies. A large snarling face, with burnt-out golden eyes staring at her, all nestled inside a coat of fur as white as fresh-fallen snow.

Crimson jaws dripped red with fresh blood. An enormous striped body followed behind it, thick paws pressing down heavily against the bodies, and a long whipping tail pulled along at the rear.

The Tiger glared at her, a low growl buzzing from its maw. 

Venka met its gaze, pretending like she had the confidence to face this thing...this _god_ , down. Because she knew if she tried to move, her body would not comply. Venka was trapped here with this creature. No matter what happened.

It paused at the top of the pile, before slowly beginning its descent. Padding its way slowly towards her.

“Passion.” it growled, stepping off the pile. “I have felt it in you. Such a terrible ferocity. Ready to be unleashed. But are you ready to embrace it?”

Venka tried to speak, but her tongue was lead in her mouth. All she achieved was a quiet gasping sound.

“Answer quickly!” it snapped, fangs exposed dangerously outward.

"Yes!” she shouted, finally finding her voice. “I am!”

“Then speak the words mortal! Claim me as your god!”

Venka's heart was hammering so quickly she was sure it would burst from her chest. Her breath shallow and rapid.

_‘Just a little further…’_

“I name you my god!” she shouted.

“So shall it _be_!” the god roared, lunging at her, jaws stretched wide. Venka screamed as the creature sunk its fangs into her neck.

Pain blazed through her flesh. A flood of lightning pouring in, shocking every nerve she possessed. And then Golyn Niis fell away behind her. She started rising. Flying up into the sky. Through the clouds and into the heavens. Right to the gates of the pantheon.

The doors parted, revealing an enormous chamber, a collection of sixty-three vacant plinths set inside, and one that was not. One where the white tiger stood. Where her _god_ stood.


	8. Chapter 8

"Venka!?” Rin’s voice called to her distantly. “Venka, what did you see!?”

Her head swam. Nausea threatening to overwhelm her. She opened her eyes, and the feeling won. Venka looked straight down and vomited into her lap, the slightly sweet aftertaste of poppy seeds mixing with the acrid bile in her mouth.

“Did it work!?” Rin demanded, grabbing Venka’s face in her hands, forcing them to look at each other.

Venka mumbled something totally incomprehensible in reply.

Rin squeezed her head. “Venka. Did. It. Work? Did you reach the pantheon!?”

It took her a moment to collect herself enough to respond. “Yes.” A grin split her face. “Yes I did.”

Rin gazed back at her, and then grinned as well. They sat there for a moment, grinning stupidly at each other. She had done it. She had reached the gods. Sring Venka was a shaman!

* * *

Rin tilted Venka’s head, examining her neck with a curious expression. “You have marks on your neck.” she said. “Looks like bite wounds...maybe from a dog or-“

“Tiger.” Venka said, remembering those jaws wrapping around her neck. “It’s from a tiger.”

Rin paused a moment, and then nodded acceptingly. She reached out her hand and began tracing delicate fingers over the wound.

Venka felt a slight twinge, but nothing more. Rin’s hand then began shifting down her neckline, heading towards her chest.

“There are scars too…” she muttered. “Running down towards your torso here. They sort of…” She trailed off.

“Sort of what?”

“Well...they kind of look like lightning.”

Venka furrowed her brow. “Let me see.”

Rin handed her a mirror, and Venka angled it so she could examine the damage herself. There were indeed deep impressions around her windpipe, like a pair of long healed puncture wounds. She grimaced. It would take a lot of makeup to hide that.

More alarming was the scar tissue emanating off them, scaling down towards her chest, and resembling nothing so much as Rin herself had suggested. Forked lightning.

' _...or tiger stripes.’_ she thought.

She grunted, putting the mirror down. “Guess that’s the end of my prospects of ever becoming a beautiful dowager.” she smirked.

Rin laughed. “Join the club. But forget your looks! Let’s see what you can do! Let’s call your god!”

Venka nodded. “Right. You might ugh...you might want to stand back. I’m not sure what might happen exactly…”

Rin obliged, walking across the clearing to what Venka hoped was a safe distance.

“All right!” Rin shouted. “Call them!”

Venka sucked in a breath to steel her frayed nerves, and then reached inside herself. 

* * *

She had expected finding her god to be difficult, considering how challenging it had been for her to reach the pantheon in the first place. But it wasn’t. It was easy. Frighteningly easy in fact. The Tiger was waiting for her, lurking just at the edge of her being, ready to pounce on her at the slightest provocation.

Venka barely scraped the creature's divine essence before it lunged on her. It ripped through her mind, flooding her body with a power unlike anything she had ever known. She gasped reflexively, as the full, awesome ferocity of a god exploded from her.

Lightning erupted from the ends of fingertips, blazing up into the still night air, shattering the silence with shrieking thunder. Agitated sparks ran up and down the length of her arms. Venka’s entire being thrumming with exalted divine energy.

Her ears became stuffed with the sound of roaring. It was just her and her god now. Venka and the Tiger. Before them, everything else was irrelevant.

“Venka!” Rin yelled over the calamitous din. “Try to control it!”

Venka stared back at Rin with two sets of eyes. One saw her friend. The other only a rival shaman. An enemy to be vanquished.

She began concentrating her lightning into a tight circle around her. Focusing its power. The Tiger reveled in it, roaring with delight. Venka began laughing. She held the power of lightning in her palms! What was the power of the wind, of _fire_ , before that!? She could do anything now! She could fight! She could destroy all her enemies! She could-

Her arms seized up. Excruciating pain flushing through them. Venka gasped, her connection with the Tiger slipping. And then just as easily as it had come, the power vanished. The Tiger released its hold on her.

Venka collapsed to her knees, ragged breaths choking her. Rin pelted over to her side, a mad grin on her lips.

“ _Tigers tits!_ Venka! That was incredible!”

Was...was that a compliment from Fang Runin? She had to be dreaming still.

“Yeah.” she said grinning back at her. “It was.”

“Think you can do it again!?”

Venka rubbed her arms. “Right now?”

“You want to be able to harness this power right? Then we need to be able to focus it. It won’t be any good if you kill everyone around you, allies included.”

“What about you?” Venka asked. “How do you handle the fire?”

Rin considered her response. “Carefully.” she admitted. “I try to stay away from friendly forces whenever possible. But sometimes it’s unavoidable, and at times like those, control is vital.”

Venka nodded, ignoring the twinge forming in her shoulder. “All right then.” she said. “Let's do it again.”

* * *

They stayed at it until morning. All night Venka practiced calling the Tiger. Channeling its power. Learning to resist its most violent impulses.

She learnt a lot about her new god over those hours. It was ferocious. Always looking for a challenge. It didn’t want mere destruction as the Phoenix did. It wanted a challenge. It wanted a fight. It was little wonder to Venka that it had chosen her as its vessel.

The sun rose, pale orange light peering through the trees at them. It was at this point Rin finally called a halt.

“Excellent work!” she declared, slapping Venka on the back. “You’re a fully fledged shaman now!”

Venka smirked at her. “Now we have twice the fire power. Daji won’t know what hit her.”

Rin gave a harsh bark of laughter. “You and me, Venka. We’re going to win this war, together!”

Venka grinned. “Fuck yeah we are!”

“But we aren’t going to do that out here. We better get back to Arlong. I’m sure our absence has already been noted.”

Venka grimaced. She had succeeded in becoming a shaman. Now came the much harder part. Living with that decision...and telling Nehza.


	9. Chapter 9

Venka and Rin slipped back into Arlong under the cover of night. Which proved somewhat challenging. Between the swarms of refugees, the jittery armed soldiers, and the fact that one of them just so happened to be the most famous person in all of Nikara, they ended up having to do a lot of ducking and weaving to sneak past the gates.

“You know you’re going to have to confront Vaisra at some point.” Venka whispered as they slunk through a back alley.

“Vaisra can wait.” Rin whispered back. “First I need to see Kitay.” Venka furrowed her brow. 

“Why?”

“Because-“

Rin halted mid answer, raising a hand for them to halt. They stopped and waited in the shadows as a squad of guards marched by. 

Venka eyed Rin as they did so. Why was Kitay so important to her? She knew they were close. But the full nature of their relationship still seemed weird and confusing to her. What exactly was he to her?

The sound of boots faded, then they stole back out into the night, heading for the palace.

“Why do we need to go see Kitay?” Venka pressed again.

Rin hesitated a moment in her response. “I need to find out what’s happened while we were away.” she said. “And frankly he’s the only person I trust to tell it to us straight.”

That sounded plausible enough, but Venka remained unconvinced. This was about more than just getting information. It was about something more personal. But she decided not to press the matter. She wasn’t even sure why she cared what Rin’s relationship with Kitay was. She had never done so before.

Venka shook her head and refocused on staying low and quiet. They were almost at the palace now.

* * *

Kitay had been given quarters on the far side of the palace’s main structure. Rin and Venka spent a few minutes observing it, before taking their chance and sneaking through a gap in the patrols, approaching the wall directly beneath Kitay’s quarters. He was up on the second floor. Which meant there was only one way in.

Venka stared up the wall with some trepidation. Phantom pains prickling her arms already.

“Are you sure we can’t just take the stairs?” Venka grumbled.

“And risk being caught?” Rin hissed, finding a foothold and starting to climb.

“Caught by who!? We’re on the same side Rin!” Venka hissed back.

Rin didn’t respond to her. She just continued climbing. Venka muttered a curse, and bracing herself as best she could, hooked her hand onto the wall, and started climbing as well.

It wasn’t as bad as she had feared. As long as she kept them moving, and didn’t bend them too far, she found that her arms didn’t hurt too badly. It wasn’t pleasant going by any stretch of the imagination, but she was at least able to keep pace with Rin.

Arriving at the window first, Rin gently pushed it open and climbed inside. Then she extended a hand back out to help Venka. She took it, and together they hauled her into the room.

It was dark inside. Venka could barely see anything. Kitay was probably asleep. It was late after all.

Rin was unfazed however, slinking straight across the room. “Kitay.” she hissed. “We’re back. Wake up.”

No response. “Kitay.” she hissed louder. “Where are you?”

“Kitay is indisposed.” a cold quiet voice whispered from the corner. “But I am available to answer any and all of your questions.”

Rin spun around, her body blazing to life as fire began crawling over her arms, lighting up the room in a sickly orange glow. Venka’s heart froze.

“However. Before you ask them.” Nezha said. “I have some questions of my own first.” 


	10. Chapter 10

“Where’s Kitay!?” Rin demanded immediately.

“Safe.” Nezha replied. “I had a feeling the two of you might end up reappearing in his room.”

Rin stalked over to him. Pressing a dangerous finger towards his chest. “If you’ve done anything-“

“Rin. Please.” he sighed. “I’m not about to hurt Kitay. Even you must know that.”

She stared at him for a long moment. “What do you want?” she finally hissed.

“What do I want? What do you think I want!? I want to know where in the name of the great tortoise you two have been!?”

“None of your business.” Rin snapped.

“Our most powerful weapon, and my oldest friend, vanish from the city with the threat of imminent invasion looming over it. Actually I do think that’s my business!”

“Well tough.” Rin replied. “What me and Venka do-“

"Venka.” Nezha cut over her, staring right at her. “What were you doing?”

Venka met his gaze. Rin faded into the background. It was just the two of them. His expression was hard, but his eyes were pleading.

_ Where were you? _

Venka arched an eyebrow.

_ Where do you think? _

His face fell. “No.” he whispered. “Please...no.” 

Venka angled her neck, showcasing the marks gouged into her flesh. A profound silence deadened the room.

Nezha slumped slightly. “Venka...what have you done…”

“Regained what was stolen from her.” Rin answered, flames licking her hands. “You couldn’t give it back to her. So I did.”

Nezha broke his eyes away from Venka to look at Rin. “You…” he growled. “You did this!”

“No.” Venka declared flatly. “I did. This was my decision, Nezha.”

He turned back to her, tears streaking his face. “No you- Why would- You can’t-“ 

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Venka. Did- did you even consider the consequences?”

She scowled at him. “Of course I did. I considered the cost, and deemed it acceptable to pay.”

“If my father finds out...if the Hesperians discover-“

“But they won’t.” Rin cut in. “Will they?”

Nezha kept his gaze on Venka, his jaw working stupidly. Then his head tilted downward. “No...they won’t…”

“Good.” Rin said. “And it’s going to stay that way.”

His face hardened again. “And tell me, Rin. What was the next part of this brilliant little plan of yours? The Hesperians won’t hear about it from me. They won’t need to. All they’ll need is their eyes.”

He shot daggered eyes at Rin. “The moment Venka takes the field, it’s going to be quite difficult to mask the fact she’s a shaman.”

“We’ve already thought of that!” Rin lied. “And we have a plan!”

“Really?” he sneered. “And what is this brilliant plan of yours!?”

"You want to know? Well, we’ll tell you. But first,” Rin leaned in close against his face, the flames dancing perilously close to Nezha’s skin, “I want Kitay back.”


	11. Chapter 11

Rin dragged Kitay into a hard tight hug. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed him. Even the brief separation of only a few days had left her feeling somewhat hollow inside. Like a piece of her soul had been missing. And, in some way, she supposed it had been.

True to his word, Nezha hadn’t harmed Kitay. He’d simply stuffed him in another room, little bigger than a closet, and barred the door.

“See.” Nezha said dryly. “Not a finger laid against him.”

Rin ignored him, enjoying the contact with Kitay.

“I missed you.” she whispered into his ear.

“You too.” he whispered back.

Rin felt a smile spilt her face. She was reunited with her other half, and through him she was reconnected to the Phoenix. She felt whole again.

Kitay broke the embrace first, pulling back so he could see Venka over her shoulder.

“Did...did it work?”

“It sure did.” Venka grinned. “You’re talking to the Cike’s newest shaman.”

Kitay furrowed his brow in such a way that Rin knew exactly what he was thinking, even without their connection.

_ I should have tried harder to stop this… _

“We’re not celebrating here!” Nezha snapped. “This is not  _ something _ to  _ be _ celebrated!”

Rin frowned at him. “You’d think you’d be fucking happy for her.” she snapped. “Venka wanted this! She achieved something only a handful of people in the world today have managed to do!”

“And all it cost her was any chance of a normal life. I-“

Venka grabbed Nezha by the arm so abruptly that the three of them could only blink in surprise.

“A normal life?” Venka snarled. “You really think the whore of Golyn Niis could have led a normal life!?”

"Venka- No I just-“

“Do you think a soldier who can’t fight could lead a normal life!? What did you think my prospects were Nezha!?”

“You could have lived in peace here at the palace!” he shouted back. “We could have-“

“There is an entire  _ army _ bearing down on us Nezha! The Vipress herself leading it! This palace might be nothing more than ashes before the month is out! And I will  _ not _ die quivering in fear as the world burns around me! I will die where everyone else in this room will! Fighting! Standing up for my home! My family! Myself!”

Nezha looked like she had slapped him. “Venka-“ he said futilely.

“Understand this Nezha.” she scowled. “This wasn’t your decision. It wasn’t Rin’s. It was mine. I chose this path. And I will walk it myself. No matter where it might lead.”

Nezha continued gaping at her for a few moments more, then finally hung his head in defeat.

“Fine.” he muttered. “But this doesn’t leave this room. It stays between the four of us. No one can be allowed to know. And I mean  _ no one _ .”

“Agreed.” Kitay said. “The fewer people who know the better. But I don’t see how we’re going to be able to hide this when…”

Rin shot him a look. The ‘I need you to figure that out for me’ look. Kitay sighed. The ‘why didn’t you think of this  _ before _ you made her a shaman’ sigh.

“You know, you’re lucky I love you.” he muttered so only she could hear.

“I know.” she grinned.


	12. Chapter 12

Judgment inevitably came for them, arriving in the form of a summons from Vaisra.

Much to Venka’s relief, and no small amount of guilt, that summons only came down for Rin. Vaisra apparently couldn’t care less what Venka had been doing with her.

“This is going to be fun…” Rin muttered as she was escorted from Kitay’s room by a contingent of guards.

“It’s as fun as you’ve made it for yourself.” Nezha stated, taking the lead of her procession. Hopefully, between the two of them, they would be able to spin a convincing enough lie to placate Vaisra. Unfortunately, this was Rin they were talking about here.

They had spent the night pitching ideas, trying to come up with a plausible story. It hadn’t gone well. About the only they could agree on is that whatever it was they had been doing, it had been Rin’s idea. They couldn’t risk implicating Venka.

So, as far as the world was to be concerned, Rin had dragged Venka away on secret Cike business upriver. It wasn’t even a flimsy excuse. It was tissue paper thin. But it was that or admit the truth. So vague _secret_ business it was.

Kitay groaned as the door closed behind them. “If we’re not all strung up in fetters by the end of the day it will be an act of the gods own mercy.”

“I don’t think you have to worry.” Venka said. “He can’t touch Rin. She’s too important. And he’s not about to imprison his only remaining son either.” She cast him a look. “I also don’t see him putting you in a cage. Your insight is too valuable.”

He looked back at her. “And what about you?”

“Me?” She shifted uncomfortably. “I’m expendable. Vaisra was like family to me growing up. But I don’t doubt for a second that he wouldn’t hesitate to punish me if he felt it necessary.”

Kitay grimaced. “Then let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Let’s hope.” she agreed.

Kitay stared at the door. “They’ll likely be a while. Which gratefully means we now have some time to think of something.”

She perked an eyebrow. “Think of what?”

“Of a plan! We need to figure out what in the name of the great tortoise we’re going to do when Daji gets here!”

“Rin is going to kill her.” Venka replied immediately. “And I’m going to help her.”

“Yes. But how do we do that without everyone seeing you do it? How do we hide the fact you're a shaman?”

“Well I can wear make up over my scars, and as for my powers I guess I could…”

Kitay waited a beat. “Could what?” he prompted 

“I...” Venka looked down at her palms. “...I’m not sure. My powers. They aren’t exactly what you might call subtle.”

“Venka. I’ve seen Rin in action. I can’t imagine anything you can do would be any less subtle then-“

“I can shoot lightning out of my hands.”

Kitay stumbled to a halt mid sentence. “Come again?”

“Lightning. Out of my hands. Sparks. Thunder. The works.”

He stared dumbly back at her. “Ah.” he said, finally processing that fact. “Right then. That...that might be slightly more challenging to hide.”

“Yeah…”

Kitay thought for a while. She could all but see the wheels turning in his head. He pressed a hand against the back of a nearby chair, then looked back at her.

“Can you show me?” he asked.

She perked an eyebrow. “Right here? Right now?”

“Yeah. Just a crackle. No need for the whole show.”

“I-“ She hesitated. “I’m not sure if I can do just a _crackle._ ”

“Have you tried?”

“Well no, but-“

“Then how do you know?”

She made to reply, and then stopped. It was a fair point. She had never tried limiting her output. Rin had only cared about how big she could go.

“All right. I’ll try it. But stand back. I don’t know how well I’ll be able to control this.”

Kitay nodded and retreated across the room. Once he was out of the way, Venka reached towards the pantheon. The Tiger was ready for her, greeting her in its usual manner, pouncing into her mind. But this time Venka didn’t allow it the same free reign as before. She resisted its urges. It’s desire to unleash all of her pent up fury. 

The Tiger did not appreciate it. It clawed painfully at the inside of her skull, wanting to blaze lightning upon the mortal plane, but Venka would not relent. Holding it back with a grapple. Refusing to allow it to dominate it.

Eventually, its thrashings subsided, and she felt a new sensation emanating from the god. Respect. She had managed to hold it back. She had proven herself a worthy opponent. He would grant her the boon she seeked.

Her arms prickled as a swarm of electrified gnats burst out of her palms. Sparks flickering around her fingers. But they went no father then maybe a few inches before arcing back in on themselves, lopping back against her hand.

Kitay stared in wonder at her. “That’s...that’s something all right.” he muttered. “I thought I’d see it all with Rin, but this...”

Venka grinned. “Impressive right?”

“I’ll say.” he said, moving back to her. “But now the question is how do we wield it?”

He leaned down to inspect her arms. “How long can you hold this for?”

“As long as I decide I can.”

He nodded, the wheels spinning again. “Well I suppose...if you’re not too close to anyone who might notice...and with the proper accessory…”

“What are you thinking?”

Kitay ignored her, still mumbling to himself. He left to walk over to his closet, pulling out a long wrap meant for formal occasions.

“Tie that around your arms.” he said, tossing it to her.

“Why?” she asked confusedly.

“Humor me.”

She gave him a skeptical look, but began looping down the length of her right arm, tying it off tight at the end.

“Okay. Now try the lightning again.”

Venka shrugged, still confused as to what this was supposed to accomplish. She called the Tiger, and again her palms sparked to life. Except this time it stayed there. She could feel the static in her arms still, but it couldn’t get out past the wrap.

“What- what did you do?” she asked, twisting her arm around in front of her.

“Insulation.” he smiled. “Now the lightning will only course out of your hands. That, I think we _can_ disguise.”

Venka continued staring at her arm, wondering in amazement how he had managed to come up with such a simple solution so quickly.

“You’re a genius. You know that right?”

He grinned. “So I’ve been told.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this is as far I've created so far. I sort of ran out of steam after writing this in only a week. I'm hoping to regain it after some time away from it. Hope you enjoyed what I've made so far!


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